We’re living in rather unusual & very difficult times. Yet our daily interactions often can be dominated by fast talk, superficial interactions, or distractions. It's important therefore to take a moment to pause & reflect, to ask ourselves how we can have conversations that are elevated and meaningful, to explore how conversations can be infused with authenticity, empathy & vulnerability. Soulful communication has the capacity to nurture our hearts & minds, to help us grow and heal as individuals and as a society - so that we are able to find our shared humanity.
“A good listening habit is eighty percent of effective communication. Being a generator and producing a clear message deserves no more than twenty percent of the credit.” - Khavari
“To the questioner He responded first with silence –an outward silence. His encouragement always was that the other should speak and He listen. There was never that eager tenseness, that restlessness so often met showing most plainly that the listener has the pat answer ready the moment he should have a chance to utter it. I have heard certain people described as “good listeners”, but never had I imagined such a “listener” as ‘Abdu’l-Baha. It was more than a sympathetic absorption of what the ear received. It was as though the two individualities became one: as if He so closely identified Himself with the one speaking that a merging of spirits occurred which made a verbal response almost unnecessary, superfluous…... That was just it! ‘Abdu’l-Baha seemed to listen with my ears…” -Howard Colby Ives 2
“...No man can reveal to you aught but that which already lies half asleep in the dawning of your knowledge. The teacher who walks in the shadow of the temple, among his followers, gives not of his wisdom but rather of his faith and his lovingness. If he is indeed wise, he does not bid you enter the house of his wisdom, but rather leads you to the threshold of your own mind... For the vision of one man lends not its wings to another man.” -K. Gibran
“Dost thou desire to love God? Love thy fellow men, For in them ye see the image and likeness of God.” -Abdu’l-Baha
“...A kindly tongue is the lodestone of the hearts of men. It is the bread of the spirit, it clotheth the words with meaning, it is the fountain of the light of wisdom and understanding.” -Baha’u’llah 3
“For the tongue is a smouldering fire, and excess of speech a deadly poison. Material fire consumeth the body, whereas the fire of the tongue devoureth both heart and soul.” -Baha’u’llah
“...Beware lest ye harm any soul, or make any heart to sorrow: lest ye wound any man with your words, be he known to you, or a stranger, be he friend or foe...” -Abdu’l-Baha
“Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you...” -Ephesians
“And find not faults with one another, neither revile one another by nicknames.” -Qur’an 4
“...the tongue is for mentioning what is good, defile it not with unseemly talk Henceforth everyone should utter that which is meet and seemly and should refrain from slander, abuse and whatever causeth sadness in men.” -Baha’u’llah
“…backbiting quencheth the light of the heart, and extinguisheth the life of the soul.” -Baha’u’llah
"O you who have believed, avoid much [negative] assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin. And do not spy or backbite each other." - Quran 49:12 5
There is a record of a reply given by ‘Abdu’l-Baha in a private interview in Paris in 1913. He was asked “How shall I overcome seeing the faults of others – recognizing the wrong in others?” and He replied: “I will tell you. Whenever you recognize the fault of another, think of yourself! What are my imperfections. Do this whenever you are tried through the words or deeds of others. Thus you will grow, become more perfect. You will overcome self, you will not even have time to think of the faults of others…” -Abdu’l-Baha
“One should not pry into the faults of others, things left done or undone by others, but one’s own deeds done and undone.” -Dhammapada
“And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but perceivest not the beam that is in thine own eye?” -Luke 6:41 6
“Refrain from reprimanding and if you wish to give admonition or advice, let it be offered in such a way that it will not burden the bearer. Turn all your thoughts toward bringing joy to hearts.” -Abdu’l-Baha
“Compassion is a quality that conveys heartfelt concerns as well as perceives them in another person, it has no special vocabulary. It is not conveyed through a well-turned phrase, but in spite of it. It resides as much in the silence we share as in the words we use. The language of compassion enables us to express the unspoken for by its aid we lean closer than the words themselves allow, and touch chords of response in the hearer Like prayer, the language of compassion reverberates through the veil of words and past the clumsiness of deeds to cause ‘the heart of every righteous man to throb.” -B. Nakhjavani
“O you who have believed avoid much (negative) assumption. Indeed some assumption is sin. And do not spy or backbite each other.” -Quran 7
“Consultation is no easy skill to learn, requiring as it does the subjugation of all egotism and unruly passions, the cultivation of frankness and freedom of thought as well as courtesy, openness of mind, and whole hearted acquiescence in a majority decision.” -Wellspring of Guidance
“Their purpose is to seek out the truth about the object of their deliberation and to find ways and means in which individual and societal needs for justice, equality, freedom and progress are met. They also deliberate on ways human conflicts can be resolved without the abuse of power or the manipulation or denial and violation of human rights of any people whether or not they are directly involved in these consultative processes.” -H. Danesh
“Family consultation employing full and frank discussion, and animated by awareness of the need for moderation and balance can be the panacea for domestic conflict.” -Baha’i Marriage and Family Life 8
“This type of consultation requires high levels of emotional and intellectual maturity and high spiritual, moral and ethical standards from its participants…the main objective of Baha’i consultation, therefore, is to bring about circumstances in which the seemingly contradictory principles of “mercy and justice, of freedom and submission, of the sanctity of the right of the individual and of self-surrender, of vigilance, discretion, and prudence on the one hand, and fellowship, candour and courage on the other” are reconciled and human conflicts are resolved in a creative manner with the constant goal of searching out truth and not becoming prey to the forces of prejudice, ignorance, self-interest, or mistrust.” -Shoghi Effendi
“It is in no wise permissible for one to belittle the thought of another, nay, he must with moderation set forth the truth.” -Abdu’l-Baha
"The sign of the intellect is contemplation and the sign of contemplation is silence, because it is impossible for a man to do two things at one time
– he cannot both speak and meditate." -
-Abdul-Baha is a Hebrew term that translates to "evil speech" or "slander." It refers to the act of speaking negatively about someone, even if the information is true. Lashon hara includes any speech that can harm another person's reputation, feelings, or relationships. This can be direct statements, insinuations, or even body language. It is considered lashon hara even if the speaker does not intend to harm, as the impact on the subject and the listener is what matters. The Talmud teaches that lashon hara can be as damaging as physical harm. It compares speaking ill of someone to murder because it can destroy a person's reputation and social standing.”
“Note ye how easily, where unity existeth in a given family the affairs of that family make, how they prosper in the world. Their concerns are in order; they enjoy comfort and tranquility, they are secure, their position is assured, they come to be envied by all. Such a family but addeth to its stature and its lasting honour, as day succeedeth day.” - ‘Abdu’l-Baha )לשון הרע( 9
Lashon hara 10
"Man should weigh his opinions with the utmost serenity, calmness and composure. Before expressing his own views he should carefully consider the views already advanced by others. If he finds that a previously expressed opinion is more true and worthy, he should accept it immediately and not willfully hold to an opinion of his own. By this excellent method he endeavors to arrive at unity and truth." -Abdu'l-Bahá
"The idea is to write it so that people hear it and it slides through the brain and goes straight to the heart." -Maya Angelou
"It’s important to make sure that we’re talking with each other in a way that heals, not in a way that wounds." -Barack Obama
“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” -Maya Angelou
